Lost in Limbo

As of my last post, my mom was waiting for surgery, and we were waiting for our renovation work to be done.

Here we are, nearly a month later, and guess what? Both of those things are still true! This month has tested my patience in so many ways! It's been a frustrating, discouraging time, but it WILL get better. I'm sure of it.

My mom did have the surgery I mentioned previously. It was at the end of last week. It went well, and there were no big surprises. But they wouldn't have any real answers until the pathology results came back. I went to see her when she got home, and she was upbeat and moving around. She was definitely in much better shape than I expected! It was great to see and buoyed my spirits.

The week of my mom's first surgery was supposed to be the week that our renovation would be complete. That was very exciting for me because then that would be DONE, and I could focus on my mom and her surgery and recovery and supporting her through this next phase. However, this seems to be the renovation that never ends! I got a call the day before the counter tops were supposed to be installed (and also the day before my mom's surgery) informing me that the granite slabs had cracked, so new slabs were needed, and they didn't know when they would be installed. The next day, when I was sitting with my mom after her surgery, I got the call that the next installation date availability was not until....November 20th! Talk about stress upon stress! I couldn't even believe that I had to wait another two weeks to get counter tops when I had already been waiting two weeks. Do you know how difficult it is to not have a fully functioning kitchen or bathrooms with 3 kids? It is not easy, let me tell you. There are worse things for sure, but it is no picnic!

Amidst all this we had major issues with our wall oven and microwave. The previous owners had a built-in oven/microwave (in addition to a stand-alone stove/oven). When we went to replace cabinets, we wanted to get new ones to replace these very old and broken appliances. The wall oven was gas, but they don't make the standard size in gas anymore, which was a problem for the cabinet we had. We went to Sears, who ended up selling us appliances that didn't fit. Long story short, we had multiple issues with finding appliances to fit the cabinet we had ordered, and the only fix was to have the general contractor we are using install a special electric outlet so that we could have an electric oven. This meant running an electrical cable from the electric box outside (read: cutting into the wall, etc.). We also had to go to another appliance store to find the right ones. We always use Sears, but this time they really let me down.

After a couple of days of just feeling so frustrated with everything, I took some deep breaths and regrouped. None of this was the end of the world, and we would get through it.

Then, this past Wednesday, I found out that even though we are getting our counter tops next week, the contractor probably couldn't hook up the sinks and faucets for another 4 days after! This was a huge disappointment, as I am just desperate to get this all wrapped up. 

That day was also my mom's follow-up appointment. An hour after talking to the contractor, she let me know that they had gotten the pathology results back, and it showed that one lymph node had cancer (which was removed, thankfully), and more bad news was that a margin was not clean (a margin is the edge or border of the tissue removed in cancer surgery), which meant that the cancer had spread further than the surgeon had cut. The main implications are two things: 1) the results showed that the cancer was a little more serious than originally thought, which leads to a more aggressive approach and 2) another surgery was needed to remove the excess cancer. Her second surgery is scheduled for next Thursday, and she was told that it will be simpler and quicker than the first one, so that's good news.

So, another surgery, more pathology results, a visit to the oncologist and radiologist, and then maybe an action plan will be formed. The surgeon has already recommended that she do 6 weeks of radiation. Before the pathology results, he had thought she would need only 5.

Obviously, the two issues ruling my life right now are very different. One is life and death, and the other is really meaningless in the scheme of things but yet still takes up so much time and energy. Sure, when it's all said and done, the kitchen will look great. But does it really matter in life? Of course not! It's window dressing. It's certainly not a project I would have started if I had known that my mom was going to be diagnosed with breast cancer, or that the project length would end up doubling. But here we are nonetheless, and many moments have been super stressful, especially combined with the stress of what my mom is going through.

I just can't wait for something to be finished, and to be out of limbo and waiting! And it will be glorious to get my house back! I feel like God has been testing me with all these different challenges. I haven't handled in the best, but I'm trying. Trying to be patient and calm, even when I'm upset on the inside. It's hit or miss, if I'm perfectly honest.

Amidst all the craziness, Halloween happened, and it was nice to just put all the stress aside and go out and have fun trick-or-treating with the kids. What a fun night!