Striving to be a Diamond

"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure."

I read this quote today, and it really hit home with me. And later, when Asher had his 3rd meltdown of the day because he was so tired after waking up at 5am, I was in the right state of mind to handle it. I managed to deflect with the situation comedy and silliness, and what do you know, all was right as rain within minutes. Later, when  Asher was upset yet again and crying uncontrollably, I simply sat on the couch and hugged him and asked him if he was having a rough day, and he choked out a, "Yes, I am..." and hugged me tighter.

Why can't I always react in this manner?

I have to admit that one of my very least favorite things about myself is that I can be impatient and get frustrated and stressed out easily. It's something I've always struggled with and am always working to change. And, as I've discovered, being a mom has provided me with some situations on a daily basis that challenge this. And some days, like today, I am up for the task and cool as a cucumber. Throw anything my way, no matter how big, and I am ready to handle it!

Unfortunately, there are also moments or days that aren't so smooth. Sometimes, when both kids are tugging at my limbs or clothes, crying and/or screaming, and Ava has just spread every dvd we own on the floor, along with the contents of a kleenex box and a cereal box, and Asher wants batteries for something or other and we don't have the right kind....or when it seems like a never ending battle of keeping Asher from torturing his sister, or being asked for something every 5 seconds...sometimes, just maybe, I am the opposite of a cool cucumber. Sometimes I get a little (or a lot) stressed out. Those are not always my shining moments.

The past couple of weeks have been a little rough around the edges. Eric has been super busy at work, (which is good in its own way), and there has only been one evening during this time where he has actually come home from work at a decent time and managed to stay home. Every other night, he has either come home very late, or had to return to work once or twice and ended up home for good  late. And, of course, these happened to fall on days where I was already wearing thin and wasn't expecting to be making dinner, cleaning up, and doing baths and bedtime without any help. In hindsight, I think if I had known this would happen, I would have mentally prepared myself so that I would have been up to the task instead of feeling grumpy and thinking, "Here we go again...ahhh!"  But that's the thing - life is full of the unexpected, and we just have to rise to the occasion, rather than being a lump of coal who maybe doesn't do so well under pressure.

The purpose of my ramblings is simply to say that I WANT to be the kind of mom who inspires my kids to be joyful and graceful under pressure, no matter what life throws their way, whether it's something simple like a rough day at school, or something more complicated like dealing with a debilitating illness. People like that are all around us - the soldier who lost an ear and has massive facial scars but still has a permanent smile on his face and just exudes positive energy. Or the mother who has four special needs children who need constant care and attention but is so patient and loving despite it all. Hearing these people's stories brings me to tears as I see how positive attitudes can change everything about your life even if you can't change the circumstances themselves.

And then I look at my life, and I think What the heck do I ever have to complain about? It's so easy to get caught up in the frustrations of our own lives, whether they are big or small. I know mine are small, and I sometimes need to take a step back and realize how great my life is, and  that messes and tantrums and demands are just kids being kids and aren't worth getting worked up about, even when it can feel so frustrating at the time.

There are always going to be those moments where we do lose our patience - it's an inevitability of parenthood - but I want those to be few and far between, and for my kids to think of me as being a really happy mom who always loved being with them, because I am and I do. 

I want Asher to remember how I could snap him out of a funk with laughter and hugs and how I could always make a bad day a little better with a touch of extra patience and compassion.